I've added a new alternative career fantasy to the growing list of other ways
I could spend my time. Here are some of the current possibilities, both the real
ones and those that have no chance of ever happening:
- Screenwriter ("You want explosions? I'll give you explosions.")
- Rock star ("Never had one lesson!")
- CEO of corporation that markets adult Underoos (Who wouldn't want a Wonder
Woman sports bra?)
- University administrator (I'd wear a Wonder Woman sports bra under my power
suit.)
- Successor to Sister Wendy ("No one's gonna keep me from groovin' on
these nudies!")
- Professional muse ("Would you like tea with your inspiration?"
Note to self: downplay crankiness in interviews.)
- Consultant to crack scientist team that finally invents the perfect method
of birth control (Helena and I came
up with this one a while back. I've always wanted to be targeted by the Christian
Right as part the source of a wave of degeneracy. Sex for everyone!)
- Book store owner (Sort of like Rob Gordon, only without all the albums and
lists. Oh, wait...)
- Space pirate ("Arg, matey!" A new item on the list. See this thread
for specifics.)
And, the latest addition...
- Founder, holycrapimahomeowner.com and subsidiaries, holycrapimaparent.com
and holycrapimagardener.com. Features on this series of sites will include:
"Spackle—Better than Peeps!"
"You Can't Roll Up It: Getting Out of a Drained Pool"
"I Can't Believe I Didn't Measure! Or, What to Do When 'Eyeballing It'
Fails You"
"Feng Huh? How to Cram As Much Ikea Furniture as Possible into 1200 Square
Feet"
"15 Clowns in a Volkswagen: Still Better than 2 Kids in a Ford Expedition,
Soccer Gear or No"
"When Siesta Only Sounds Like a Good Idea to You: Cooking with Tryptophan"
" 'I'm Not Dead Yet!' Plants for People Who Forget to Water"
"Asbestos? Nah, Prolly Not. Off with the Floor!"
" 'Now That's a Fire!' Barbecuing for the Repressed"
Currently seeking freelancers.
