Progressively responsible leadership.
Marshalling resources.
Managing multiple projects.
Balancing global concerns with attention to detail.
Versatile and student-centered.
Innovative approaches to the use of technology in the classroom.
Maintaining productivity in a deadline-driven environment.
Conflict resolution skills.
Increased site traffic by a blurgazillion percent.

Thinking up this kind of crap doesn't come naturally to me at all. It's driving me just a little bit insane, especially because I'm applying for a wide variety of jobs right now.

1) Editing gigs (requires corporate-friendly resume)
2) Higher education administration gigs (requires a strange combination of corporate-friendly and academic-friendly resume; combination changes with job title)
3) Things like part-time tutoring gigs that can generate quick cash (they get a resuvita, which isn't a word, but should be)
4) Tenure-track jobs at community colleges (requires first serious revision of CV in quite some time)

That last one's newer. I wasn't considering it before, largely because I'm not sure I want to be a full-time community college instructor. But then, I started looking at jobs, and I got a sense of what's out there that I want to do, am qualified for, and would receive adequate compensation for. There isn't a whole lot, so I was indulging in some anticipatory despair.

And then, I kept coming across these job listings for full-time positions in community colleges. The college up the street is hiring—I could actually walk to work. Other nearby colleges are hiring, too; there are at least two more within ten miles of my house. The community colleges around here seem to give instructors a more reasonable load than many do. I've learned that a typical position in this area requires that you teach 3 courses per semester, not the 4 or 5 common at many junior colleges. A typical position gives you two full months off per year, plus holidays. A typical position pays somewhere in the mid-40s to start. And if I don't like it, I don't have to do it for the rest of my life. I can do, you know, something else.

I have no idea why this didn't sound good to me before, because it sounds pretty damn good now. Actually, I do know why, but it's too complicated to get into at 3 in the morning. So, yeah. I'm putting together several totally different versions of resumes and vitae and in-between-type documents, and it's time to stop now, because these things get to you after a while.

Experienced headspinner with outstanding yoga pants.

You see?