Southern California is on fire, and even though the flames really aren't anywhere near our house, the ashes are. If the ashfall continues at this rate, I'm going to make myself an ashman. With a corncob pipe and a button nose. And two eyes made out of something that isn't coal, because I'm thinking that coal won't look so good in a base of ash.

Only an ex-smoker would look ruefully at the particles floating around in the air and think, hell, if I'm going to breathe all this shit, I should do it through a Marlboro filter.*

In other news, I bumped my head on a corner of my desk last night. It hurt, but I didn't realize quite how much until I went to bed and realized I couldn't lie down on my left side. After I woke up this morning, I tried to sit up and heard a click. That was the sound of my neck doing yoga without the rest of me. I do not have high hopes for any day that begins wth Xanax and do-it-yourself physical therapy.

* There is no danger that I will actually do this. I'm just sayin'.