MY BROTHER BRET, CALLING FROM KOREA, WHERE HE LIVES: "I'm dating this girl from Colombia."

SHASTA: "What's her name?"

BRET: "Marcela."

SHASTA: "Describe what Marcela Wallace looks like."

BRET: "What?"

SHASTA: "Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again! I dare you--I double dare you, motherfucker! Say 'what' one more goddamn time!"

BRET: "She's kind of brown."

SHASTA: "Go on!"

BRET: "She's not bald."

SHASTA: "Does she look like a bitch?"

BRET: "What?"

SHASTA: "POW! I said, KA-POW!"

BRET: "Aaagh! Ooohhh!"

SHASTA: "DOES - SHE - LOOK - LIKE - A - BITCH?"

BRET: "No!"

SHASTA: "Good answer. Glad you respect your woman, little brother. Wouldn't want to have to make POW! sounds into the phone again. Don't go letting other men give her foot massages, now, you hear?"